I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on my state of being after a year of loss, grief, and transformation. I feel like I’m finally starting to emerge, like a butterfly coming out of its cocoon.
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This past weekend I completed my 200-hour yoga teacher certification with Esther Vexler Yoga School. I started last September and have been meeting with my group of fellow teachers in training almost every other weekend for the last nine months.
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An ultrasound confirmed on Tuesday that our little babe stopped growing a few weeks ago. I should have been about 10 weeks pregnant.
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I just learned that today is Pregnancy After Loss Awareness Day. In light of this, I thought there’s no better time to announce that I am seven weeks pregnant.
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A loved one gave us a small rainbow ornament for Ellis this Christmas. The tag on the ornament described a rainbow as a bridge between heaven and earth.
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After the magical day at Enchanted Rock, I started seeing rainbows on a regular basis. It’s like all of the sudden I had on rainbow colored glasses.
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In June, a month after Ellis was stillborn, we took him back up to Enchanted Rock. This time, instead of carrying him in my belly, Hunter carried Ellis in a tiny silver urn tucked away in his backpack.
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There were no windows in the triage room but unbeknownst to me, a severe thunderstorm was pummeling the ground outside.
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I realize I haven’t fully told you the story of Ellis’ rainbows yet. I’ve been writing about them for months now and can’t cull the story down to just one post, so I’ll share a piece every day this week.
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